Emmett Eqauls Stupid
by Emmettsmyteddybear
Summary: Anything a human can do Emmett can do it even more stuipid. Rate T for language *one shot*


To the ones who read my other stories I'm sorry to say they will be on hold for a minute sorry. Please don't hate me, anyway this story is a request for KELSEYCULLENSALVATORE and since I love her so much I'm going to post it for her. So ENJOY!

Disclaimer: This is the part where I burst into tears and say I don't own anything *sob*

Emmett pov:

I was currently sitting in the living room watching game completely bored when I got an idea. I looked over at Bella who was reading some stupid book about a couple of love struck teenagers. Since the family was out hunting I was stuck babysitting. I didn't mind but really Bella could kick ass if she wanted to I mean if she could punch a wolf, get chased by a psycho vampire out for blood, and face the Volturi, then she survive a day with out constant supervision. But No Edward said watch her and let me tell you it's not that entertaining. Deciding I had enough of the quiet I got up and went to stand in front of Bella until she looked up.

"Is their something you need Emmett," she said as if she regretted asking. I wonder what would make her think that its night like I was that bad….was I?

"I'm bored," I basically whined, a look crossed her face I wasn't quite sure what it meant but what do I care its not like I pay attention anyway.

Bella pov:

OH! NO! I dreaded the words as soon as they came out of my mouth Emmett and bored DOES NOT equal good. But at least I could get out of the house, reluctantly I looked up at him and before I could stop myself and said "What did you have in mind."

-In the jeep-

"EMMETT ARE YOU CRAZY WE CAN GO TO JAIL!"I was serious regretting asking him of his plans. I mean ROB A BANK he must really want me to go to jail or hate's me. In my opinion the latter sounded better than icy water on hot summer day then jail. Just the thought of it made my skin crawl. But he insisted we would not get caught, with him my chances were very slim.

"Come on Bella don't you trust me it'll be fun," he then turned that irresistible puppy dog look on me, how I cursed myself for being so soft. "Fine" I sighed pathetically, might as well kill me now.

-Later-

We were now in a small town some where in Georgia. The sun was set behind the clouds so Emmett was free to carry on his idea of fun. That's when I noticed Emmett's attire he was wearing all black with a ski mask. He then handed me one to and I just stared at like it was a viper getting ready for attack. "Emmett I think ill sit back and watch instead."

He gave a look of a child who's puppy was just ran over than when the driver saw it wasn't dead came back and backed over it. "Fine Bella take the fun out of it."I then felt a rush of air and came face to face with the bank of America staring right back at me. "Chill Bells you might not help me but you can still get the real thing up close and personal."When he said that I noticed I was shaking, he walked in and sat me down in a waiting chair. I looked around making sure no one saw me with him and silently thanked the lord when they were all paying attention too their own.

Emmett strolled up to the desk and pulled out a bag that had the money sign but the real thing that caught my attention was how it was spelled the bag had the word 'MONZIEY' and was scrawled in the writing of a five year old. Well shit I thought I my writing was crap but even I couldn't help the giggle that escaped. Every person in the room started to take notice of him. Then to make it worse he pulled out a SQUIRT GUN and I could feel the heat in my face.

Even thought Emmett is a vampire he sure is a dumbass. A few snickers were heard around the room.

"Put the money in the bag and no one get hurt," he yelled but being the idiot he is was turned facing a plant.

"Um, Sir I'm over here," That's when I took notice of the ski mask that was turned backwards WAIT! When did that happen I surely don't recall doing that?

"Shut up and put the money in or I will SQUIRT you!"

"I don't think I can do that"

"And why not?" Emmett looked like he was having too much fun a goofy grin was painted a cross his face, to outsiders he might look like a total whack job but after a while you get use to it.

"Because Sir you are an-" The casher looked a very unhealthy color of red and was cut off before he could finish.

"An WHAT? An IDIOT? Well excuse me do I look like an IDIOT?" From the look on the Cashers face I could tell it took every fiber in his being not to laugh.

"Uh…Well yea a very pronounced idiot actually," At this point I was practically rolling on the floor with tears in my eyes and let me tell you I was not alone.

"That's it now you forced me to do it." With that Emmett started to squirt the guy until he noticed it was having no affect on him what's so ever. He frowned down at the water gun and looked up to see the plate of glass separating them. I then decided to get him out of here before the cops showed up. But just as I went to get up police cars were pulling up and Emmetts jeep was FUCKING gone.

I started towards the door and just some one had to shout out. "Hey you put your hands behind your back and slowly kneel on the ground."

Well their goes my luck I'm so dead but if it is the last thing I do Emmett would be the first to go before I do.

Emmett pov:

Man that was hilarious! I can't stop laughing at the faces of the people. I didn't know I was that funny but I felt as if I forgot something. I heard the footsteps of my family approaching and Edward was the first to burst through the door. He seemed to be looking for something but his eyes settled on me.

"Emmett where's Bella," OH SHIT! That's what I forgot damn it how did I forget that. Oh well its not Bella is in deep trouble. I mean a night in jail big deal try five days. Instantly I regret thinking about it because Edward looked ready to kill.

"You see that's a very long story…." Before anyone could blink I was sprinting trough the woods soon enough I heard footsteps coming towards me.

Man I'm so screwed.

Ok as I said this was an request and truly I do love Emmett so if you liked this PLEASE review thank you!


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